a first communicant

You would think that I have two children because of the tears I shed on this special day.

Two Sundays ago, Jude received his first Holy Communion. As I heard the sweet voices of the children's choir softly sing "alleluia, alleluia" I thought of what joy it must be to have the simple, faithful understanding of a second grader: 

God is good.

Jesus loves me. 

Jesus dies for me. 

Jesus gives us his Body and Blood for food. 

I want to go to heaven. 

Period. 

It's not that I don't appreciate the complexity and the depth of the faith that I'm discovering more and more, only some days I just want to shout from the rooftops, "I LOVE JESUS!" and rest in that. Many people grapple with the nitty gritty stuff that has its place and purpose. They fight the constraints of the church based on its weekly mass attendance requirement, or its teaching on contraception, or its ruling on homosexual marriage but they forget who started the church and why he started it. 

Christ who loves gave us this Church. He wants us to follow these teachings out of love! Sometimes we have to work our way into loving the teachings so we start with obeying them. 

Jesus who loves gave us the Church just as we were each given parents to guide us and form us so that we can make the necessary choices in life that will bring us peace. Most adults will say that maturity has given them an understanding of why their parents had certain rules. Perhaps, like myself, they fought their parents tooth and nail over every.single.bloody rule but in the end had to obey them. There are rules that I broke that I wish I hadn't. I understand now why those were there. I hurt from the rules that I broke. 

The Church's rules I follow as an adult, like using Natural Family Planning, I follow out of love and then obedience. I follow lovingly because I know why that rule is there. I've seen the pain that accompanies the alternatives and that's not something that I want to experience or burden my husband with.  

I want to scream "I LOVE JESUS" and be like a little child receiving first holy communion, but I am grateful for the accompanying guides and teachings and truths that accompany the reality of a life spent loving Jesus. May we continue to be blessed with the graces necessary for living that life.